Next time the Mormons come, instead of arguing with them, instead of showing them all the problems with their little magic book, I'm going to do something a little different. I am going to go along with everything they say. I'm going to become a Mormon! Yay!

Well actually you probably couldn't drag me into a church, but I will pray with them at my home, and tell them I believe the book is true, and that I felt the Holy Ghost enter me (prayer is my lube and faith is my condom). I can probably cry too if that helps - I'll just think of something sad and turn on the waterworks. I could always throw in some weird head movements and facial expressions, just to freak them out a little. After all, God moves in mysterious ways!

I will of course have to tell them it's all been fake, just before they leave, but if they can waste my time, I can waste theirs. Part of me is saying it's a little cruel, but another part of me says fuck it, they believe in Jesus and that means... they'll forgive me!

How about this: I convert to Mormonism and they are happy. Next time they come round I say I've got some questions and then hit them with my doubts... and convert right back again. In fact if I pretend that I was originally a Christian, became a Mormon, but now I'm so disillusioned that I'm an atheist, they are going to feel like they've made the situation a whole lot worse for me!

Am I going too far here? Maybe. But the idea sounds fun, so I thought I'd share it with you anyway.

It might be several months before they come back again, so don't hold your breath, but if you think it's a good plan, why not try it yourself next time the LDS boys come a-calling? It's not as if they will do anything bad to you for mocking them is it? Mormons aren't the kind of people who tend to fire-bomb your house, from what I've heard.