Welcome to five more extracts from my up-and-coming (soon!) book, Blasphemy! The Musical:

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Don't Wanna Be Judged By You
I Wanna Be Loved By You (Some Like It Hot)

Don't wanna be judged by you, but you
Tell me what I must do
You're telling me worship God alone
Pray to him too
...
You call me a liar
Condemn me to fire
What you seem to admire's
Unseen and unknown
To some, it's dumb, what you can succumb to

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Their Resistance
Half A Sixpence (Half A Sixpence)

But still they're so insistent
That God has made all around us
The problem that now rebounds is
Why stop at just one?

If they prove God's true
Couldn't there be two?
But they are so resistant their
Bible says there's just one

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God's A Virgin Bride Explorer
How Are Things In Glocca Morra? (Finian's Rainbow)

God's a virgin bride explorer
Knocked up Mary when he'd stripped her bare
He's the Daddy of that Jesus guy
God's kinda fly
Although it's such a shame about the facial hair
And big underwear

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Jesus Needs Shampoo
Any Dream Will Do (Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat)

The son of God
Has come to visit
That smell what is it?
Jesus is that you?
Hair like a tramp
And wait a minute
Something's living in it
Jesus needs shampoo

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I'll Never Be A Muslim
I Don't Know How To Love Him (Jesus Christ Superstar)

I'll never be a Muslim
They have rules for some weird things
Islam's strange
And so deranged
What its laws deny
I can't justify
I won't fall in its spell
...
All that kneeling down
I can live without
Fasting dawn till dusk
I'm not that devout
For thinking genies do exist
You can count me out

---

Just about two-thirds done now, so it's definitely getting close to publishing time!

60 songs! More extracts! More to come!

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A Dangerous Parasite
Stranger In Paradise (Kismet)

Each Qur'an
Is a dangerous parasite
All feeding the hunger that
Swells claims to Islamicise
...
It's such a waste
All sense has ended
Minds cannot grow
When such words are adored

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What Can He Do?
Xanadu (Xanadu)

You claim
That Jesus can help you grow
But maybe you'd care to show
Tell me: what can he do?

You bow
Praying to God, you plead
Why can you not concede
What your God cannot do?

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Christ Is A Lie That They've Sold Us
Everything's Coming Up Roses (Gypsy)

Break the spell, break the hate
Never fall for the line 'God is great'
Can't you see? Look at how
Jesus Christ is a lie that they've sold us

Can't detect any facts
No, the cleverest minds that would tax
God exists? Tell me how
Jesus Christ is a lie that they've sold us

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That's Trash
At Last (Orchestra Wives)

That's trash
Religion can't go on
The one they call Jehovah
Has faded now and gone

That's trash
The ignorance I knew
Belief in God is over
And faith holds no more truth

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None Of Us Knows
Buttons and Bows (The Paleface)

Each release demands the best
Explanation science knows
If and when the answer's hidden
Then science never holds back as it shows
There's no answer, none of us knows

Seems like I'm a prophet, because something in my book just came true! Remembering at all times that these are parodies, here are some of the lyrics to 'You Can't Stop Blasphemy', which blasphemes in turn against Christians, Muslims, Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons. The Jehovah's Witness section contains these lines (emphasis added to the most relevant one):

And I know they'd like me to commit
To the Watchtower guide but it's full of shit
Can the end of the world please come so they'll quit today?
You can't stop blasphemy

Grab a gun they're an easy kill
And if you wound 'em then they can't replace the blood that you spill
I never felt the urge for homicide, at least not until today

And I can't stop
Jehovah's little army coming up to my door
It's the moment I remind them what profanity's for
'cause it's surprising what a pit bull with your arm in its jaws conveys
My dog's called Blasphemy

So (cliché alert) 'imagine my suprise' when I read this:

Jehovah's Witness shot dead and wife critically ill after being gunned down
Jehovah's Witness Adam Hustler and his wife Amanda were allegedly gunned down by their daughter's jilted lover who is believed to have been forced to end the relationship because of their strict religious views.

It is understood that the couple were strict followers of the religion and forced their eldest daughter Danielle, 20, to break up with her non-Witness boyfriend.

Jehovah's Witnesses are forbidden from receiving blood transfusions, and it is still unclear about whether one was needed.

Sources at the hospital said the gunman allegedly shot Mr Hustler at close range using a high powered gun such as a .22 hunting rifle, before blasting Amanda in the back.

Here's a link to the original story in the Daily Mail, which confirms that a blood transfusion was refused for the woman:

Last night it emerged that 39-year-old Mrs Hustler, also a Jehovah's Witness, had refused a blood transfusion because of her strict religious beliefs.

All I can say is: don't blame me, my song is just joking! However, here are a few of my thoughts on this. From what I can gather, the dead man was beyond help and died anyway, and the woman, who is the one who declined the blood transfusion, survived her operation. So perhaps the end result is exactly the same as it would have been had they not been Jehovah's Witnesses. Fair enough. And I do not in any way condone the shooting of anyone, anywhere, for any reason - a previous blog of mine will show you that I am 100% anti-guns. However, had the woman died purely because she refused a blood transfusion, my opinion would have been this: 'serves you right'. That may seem harsh, but anyone who makes that choice, with the full knowledge they will die because of it, will have no sympathy from me whatsoever. As far as I'm concerned, it then becomes suicide.

Of course Jehovah's Witnesses are quite capable of making these decisions on behalf of other people too, which is where I absolutely draw the line and refuse to accept such 'religious freedoms'. If you allow someone else to die (if the daughter had been shot and the mother had refused treatment for example) that is something I cannot and will never accept. And this certainly has happened before, although in cases where a child is involved hospitals now (as far as I know) have the power to over-rule any parent by taking the child into protective custody, so thankfully the law will defend a helpless child.

This is of course all because the Bible tells people not to eat blood, which the stupid Jehovah's Witnesses intepret as forbidding them to accept blood transfusions. As I've said many times before, of all religious groups, the Jehovah's Witnesses are the ones I despise the most vehemently!

One more thing: Witnesses supposedly don't eat blood, but if so why aren't they all vegetarians? You can't get all the blood out of the meat before you cook and eat it, so why don't they reject the eating of meat? As always, it comes down to this: selective interpretation of the Bible. Where it would be inconvenient to their daily lives (enforced vegetarianism would reduce the number of members, no doubt), they ignore it. Where something is likely to happen rarely, as in the case of blood transfusions, they parade their 'principles' for all to see. Hypocrisy and religion are never far away from each other are they?

Final words: I don't condone violence at all, so don't go shooting Jehovah's Witnesses just to prove my song true! Oh, and don't feed them to your dog either!

Against my better judgement, I've now joined Twitter.com, so if you want constant online updates of what I'm doing, go here:

http://twitter.com/Gisburne2000

If it turns out that I get as bored of Twitter as I have already done with Facebook, MySpace, Stickam and all the rest of 'em, I'll let you know - probably in a couple of days, when the novelty has worn off! YouTube is still the only place to be, so if you really want to find me, I'll be there.

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Update
Sure enough, a week later I deleted my Twitter account. It's the biggest waste of time ever, and given that it's in competition with all of the above, that's saying something. In other words, ignore this blog!

Five more songs completed, which means five more extracts from my new book, Blasphemy! The Musical, including the longest, most difficult and possibly the best one so far, You Can't Stop Blasphemy. If the book had a title track, that would probably be it. This blog also marks the point where I now have fewer songs to complete than I've already completed, so the finish line is in sight - stay tuned!

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It's Just Another Book Of Fairy Tales And Lies
As If We Never Said Goodbye (Sunset Boulevard)

Perhaps in desperation
When nothing else succeeded
And feeling low
It seems as though
It's needed
But the Bible you depend on
Has no heavenly foundation
It's just another book of fairy tales and lies

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You Can't Stop Blasphemy
You Can't Stop The Beat (Hairspray)

Draw a cartoon prophet then you'll find
That the peace-loving words are all far behind
With aggression is how their faith is defined today
You can't stop blasphemy

Wanna die? Well just pick a fight
Insult Muhammad, they will march and set the city alight
And no surprises why security for flying is tight today

But we won't stop
Rejecting all the rhetoric that's rolling around
The Qur'an is just a book of bullshit, not profound
And the morals of the prophet, they were never sound, no way
You can't stop blasphemy

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See The Preacher's Threat
Teacher's Pet (School of Rock)

Taking all the credit and praise
With extra glory on Sundays
God ain't love, just analyse the prize
The hidden message behind the lies
...
If you don't wanna see the preacher's threat
Well maybe you will live to regret it
This is the reason: God ain't divine
Your whole religion's a waste of time
Oh yea!

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Get Stoning
Good Morning (Singin' In The Rain)

Get stoning, get stoning
Sign on the list if you
Want stoning, is stoning for you?
...
They're stoning, they're stoning
They'll chop your hands off too
Stop moaning, they're stoning it's true

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One Last God
Le Jazz Hot (Victor/Victoria)

Though it's crazy
The last god says he
Can conquer this world forever
Just who benefits if he is right?
Who must die to win the fight?
But we should end what they did
The past gods faded
So let's lose one last god

I've been playing around with a few ideas for the book cover for Blasphemy! The Musical and was finally hit with the perfect design:

Simple, straightforward and in your face, plus it also lends itself well to re-arranging into banners, icons, smaller pictures, etc (that's the web designer in me talking). I've done a makeover on my YouTube channel and will eventually be doing a major overhaul of this web site. However, I still have 49 more songs to write so of course that takes priority. Back to work!

Anyone notice the highlights in the eyes?!

Hey, what do I have to do to get a fatwa over here?

Wow, this is the tenth set of extracts from my new book, Blasphemy! The Musical, and it's so hot off the press it's still sizzling! I finished the 50th song just minutes ago - who would have thought it would be a parody of 'The Ugly Duckling'?!

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Don't Believe In God Or Father Christmas
Sisters (White Christmas)

Christmas
Christmas
Don't believe in God or Father Christmas
Santa never answers when you think of him
Don't pray to God, your chance is slim

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That's The Worst Reason I've Heard
I Enjoy Being a Girl (Flower Drum Song)

If you think that for marriage you must wait
And that sex with another's not permitted
If your faith gives no margin for debate
And you claim that a sin will be committed
...
If your only plea is Jesus
If your reason is God's own word
And Satan and sin deceive us
That's the worst reason I've heard

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God Is A Kinky Old Perv
The Impossible Dream (Man of La Mancha)

Your God is a kinky old perv
He hides everywhere that you go
He's there looking in through the window
Undress for a bath and he knows
...
God is a pest
Spies down from afar
Yes God is a pervert
He's really bizarre

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God Is A Waste Of Space
Put On A Happy Face (Bye Bye Birdie)

Listen to what I tell you
God is a waste of space
Leave what they try to sell you
God is a waste of space

What do you get from years of reverence
Down on your knees?
Better to hand God final severance
Live your life free

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A Muddle Of Doctrine
The Ugly Duckling (Hans Christian Andersen)

Your faith is a muddle of doctrine
With dozens of differing creeds
But I've never heard
A line more absurd than
God rewards good deeds
God rewards
Yes God rewards
Yes God rewards good deeds
But you seem to have missed
I deny that God exists
So your argument just misleads

---

Now that you're up to date with where I am, I'm afraid the updates won't be so frequent - I can only write one song, sometimes two, in a day, so you'll need to be patient! However this is a major milestone - 50 is half way to the final 100, and if I keep up the same steady pace the book will be finished in around 6 or 7 weeks. So you'll be able to get your grubby little paws on a copy in early November!

Keep watching!

You guessed it, more extracts from my up-and-coming new book, Blasphemy! The Musical...

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Who Thinks That God Was Never There?
Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? (High Society)

Who thinks that God was never there? I do
Who sees how pointless is a prayer? I do
You think a better life will come if you wait?
But why such debate
When this life is great?
Who thinks religion is insane? I do
Who treats the Bible with disdain? I do
Who thinks the Testaments are untrue? I do
Yes I do and so in fact should you

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Prove It's God
All That Jazz (Chicago)

You may think there's someone up above
So prove it's God
Someone who knows the bad things you are thinking of
So prove it's God
Preach the Bible, show me what you've got
But a book ain't proof and evidence it's not
The claims are looking small
Your case will trip and fall
So prove it's God

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World Ain't Ending
Hey, Big Spender (Sweet Charity)

Well every time that you talk
If the word is from Jehovah, a Witness
The world is ending
Big earthquakes, plagues and fire
They're saying the world will blow
And that the future is dire

Well maybe this might disappoint
The Apocalypse is wrong I guarantee
World ain't ending
End your little fantasy

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Pre-Teen Preacher From Bible Class
Mean Green Mother From Outer Space (Little Shop Of Horrors)

He's just a pre-teen preacher from Bible class
And too small
He's just a pre-teen preacher from Bible class
And he's had no life at all
A little pre-teen preacher's too young to pray
Say, 'Put down that book, go out and play
And don't preach, pre-teen, you're way too small'

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Don't Save Me
Lovely (A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum)

Don't save me
No one needs to save me
Saving doesn't come into my day

Prayed for
Why should I be prayed for?
Why the need to tell me when you pray?

---

Tomorrow's selection will get you right up to date with the 50 songs I've written so far! Actually, as I write this I've only done 49, so I'd better get a move on!

A few more days and the blog will have caught up with the current progress of my book, Blasphemy! The Musical. So here are five more extracts to add to the total!

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God Is In Retreat
42nd Street (42nd Street)

We don't need God to succeed
Every new breakthrough makes stronger the view
God is in retreat
If you fear what isn't here
Then the one thing true I promise to you
God is in retreat

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Meet The Latter Day Saints
A Couple of Swells (Easter Parade)

Meet the Latter Day Saints
Their Church is bizarre but quaint
Those Mormons may seem normal
Let me tell you they really ain't
...
They will run down the avenue
If you chase them with a knife
If you're quick you can run 'em through
End their irritating life
Though we don't recommend you do
'cause it isn't very nice
So they'll keep on annoying you
Yes they're deeply annoying you
As they talk 'bout some crappy new after-life

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The Trouble Is Your Religion
Tomorrow (Annie)

The trouble is your religion
Shows me its derision
'cause religion
I have none
...
Religion
Religion
Don't preach your religion
There's nothing could make me pray

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What's This Crap? It's Creation Science
Little April Shower (Bambi)

What's this crap? It's Creation Science
God never made all the world all around
Rip apart the Creation Science
Thousand and one little holes to be found
Watch as we pound, into the ground
This crap, it's crap

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I Am Tripping
I Feel Pretty (West Side Story)

I am tripping
Mind is skipping
Like a hippie I'm trippy and why?
I am flipping
Revelation kinda gets me high
...
Have you read the book Revelation?
The writer it's plain lost the plot
Apparently God's inspiration
Made him try to get high and grow mushrooms and pot

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More tomorrow!

That's right, more extracts from the songs in Blasphemy! The Musical...

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The Bible Is Full Of Crap
Thomas O'Malley Cat (The Aristocats)

They wanna teach 'n' preach baloney
Make us all become
Such devoted faith-loving slabs of dumb
They're talkin' up Creation
Short on explanation
Why read the Bible?
The Bible is full of crap

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She's In A Trance Alright
I Could Have Danced All Night (My Fair Lady)

She's in a trance alright
And there's a chance, though slight
She speaks an ancient tongue
The Church has taught such things
And now their madness brings
What's drilled into our young

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Real Science Can Change the World
Thank Heaven For Little Girls (Gigi)

Real science can change the world
The scientists work hard while others pray
Real science can change the world
Religion hasn't any part to play

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If You Can
Be A Clown (The Pirate)

If you can, if you can
Use your faith, if you can
Make it rain when it's dry
Wait for long enough so can I
Without God for a friend
Get the same results in the end
You see a burning building or a terrible quake
'A miracle!' you cry as one survives in its wake
But now explain the dead ones God decided to take
If you can, if you can, if you can

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They're Controlling Our World
I Can Show You The World (Aladdin)

They're controlling our world
Criticism's forbidden
Islam's purpose is hidden:
Democratic rule must die

Let them into our world
Offer them all our freedoms
There's a reason they need them
But conceal the reason why

---

There are plenty more to come, so stay tuned!

Whoops! Missed a day! Yesterday I took a day off to design the cover for the book... top secret, naturally! However, back on track again, here are some more extracts from Blasphemy! The Musical...

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Theory
Memory (Cats)

Theory
Used in science it brings light
Understand what the word says
Find its meaning again
Out of context some think it's what hypothesis is
But a theory's not the same

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Christ Is Too Fat To Weigh
(Life Is A) Cabaret (Cabaret)

Waiting for Jesus? Don't look for him soon
No matter how you pray
Look at the slob your God's become
Christ is too fat to weigh

There is no quitting, he loves to consume
The all-you-can-eat buffet
Empties the plate, eats every crumb
Christ is too fat to weigh

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Resist!
What's This? (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Resist! Resist!
Those Christians who dare
Insist
They offer you a prayer
Resist!
They buzz around like flies
You feel like screaming
Getting closer to despair
Resist!

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Scientologists
Puttin' On The Ritz (Blue Skies)

Now it's untrue
So don't believe
What they show you
They just deceive
Whose cult is this?
Scientologists

---

There's Mo Hammad, He's So Hammered
There's No Business Like Show Business (Annie Get Your Gun)

There's Mo Hammad, he's so hammered
Let's go Hammad, hey Mo!
Looking very queasy when he's kneeling
Always has a bottle when he prays
There's projectile vomit on the ceiling
It's certain he'll sing, he's in a daze

---

Come back tomorrow - there will be more... unless I skip a day again!

Still more extracts from some of the songs in my forthcoming book, Blasphemy! The Musical...

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They Stop By Most
High Hopes (A Hole in the Head)

Just who sends those Latter-Day Saints
Back for more, despite my complaints
Anyone thinks they're quaint ain't
Met the Latter-Day Saints

'cause they stop by most
They drop by most
Wonder
Why God supplies
Such a high dose

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You're An Atheist
Aquarius (Hair)

When your faith in prayer passes on
Religion plays no further part
If hope seems gone without it
It's time for life to start

Don't be afraid
Come out and say you're an atheist
Today you're an atheist

An atheist!
An atheist!

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Religion Is Just A Con-Trick
The Teddy Bears' Picnic

If you kneel down in a church to pray
You'll never hear God's reply
Instead they'll ask you to try to pay
God's credit's in short supply
The Jesus freaks are careful to teach
The love of God whenever they preach
But it's a bust, religion is just a con-trick

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Drink The Communion Wine
Trail of the Lonesome Pine (Way Out West)

If you catch a priest committing sin ya
Get to drink the communion wine
If his porn you find
He's more than kind
Just don't tell the bishop, he won't mind

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Don't Call Me Christ, I'm Christina
Don't Cry For Me Argentina (Evita)

Don't call me Christ, I'm Christina
The truth is I wear stilettos
I've had my legs shaved
And I'm insistent
I have no penis
It's non-existent

---

Come back tomorrow - there's more!

More, more, more extracts from some of the songs in my forthcoming book, Blasphemy! The Musical...

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Godless and Free
Under the Sea (The Little Mermaid)

Belief in a life hereafter
A place full of endless bliss
Is something to greet with laughter
A thought we should all dismiss
...
Godless and free
Godless and free
Life without Jesus
No Hell to tease us
No mystery

One life to live, there's no repeat
Don't need a God to be complete
Love one another
There is no other
Godless and free

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Communion Wine I Have Found Confusing
The Sound of Music (The Sound of Music)

Communion wine
I have found confusing
It turns into blood
And like bats they drink

This vampire-ish sign
Would be quite amusing
But follow the Pope
And it's what you'll think

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Why Should God Be On A Murder Charge?
Wand'rin' Star (Paint Your Wagon)

Why should God be on a murder charge?
Why should God be on a murder charge?

Open up the Bible
Pick most any page
And god will slaughter countless millions
In a fit of rage

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Indoctrinate, Indoctrinate, Indoctrinate!
The Deadwood Stage (Calamity Jane)

Well a real good age for a Christian kid to learn sin
Is the time his parents know for certain their Bible sinks in
They teach God's commands, no reason to wait
Indoctrinate, indoctrinate, indoctrinate!
...
In a homeschool class be amazed what the Bible kids buy
Never trust real science, evolution is the wickedest lie
Darwin reviled, Creation is great
So indoctrinate, indoctrinate, indoctrinate!

---

Where Did All Of Their Brains Go?
Over the Rainbow (The Wizard of Oz)

Where did all of their brains go?
Where'd they hide?
In the minds of believers
Reason and faith collide
...
If faith waves common sense goodbye
It's something I know
I just cannot buy

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Come back tomorrow for even more!

As promised here are more extracts from some of the songs in my forthcoming book, Blasphemy! The Musical...

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Meatball Wiccan
Pinball Wizard (Tommy)

There was nobody who liked her
She had no friends to call
Her face it used to frighten
The cool kids in the mall
And at school she didn't like gym
No exercise at all
That fat, ugly goth kid
Goes by the name 'Meatball'
...
She's a meatball Wiccan
Loves magic, moon and trees
Adores fried chicken
Eats everything she sees

---

Proof Is All That I Want
You're The One That I Want (Grease)

All your claims and prophesying
To mislead is your goal
And the lies you're justifying
Are intensifying
...
Proof is all that I want
(Bring out the evidence)
Prove God's true, sonny
It's all I need
Then I'll concede

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Does It Annoy You?
Getting To Know You (The King and I)

Does it annoy you
Hearing that God's all around you
Does it annoy you
When they insist you should pray
Does it annoy you
Giving you some constant strife while
Saying your lifestyle
Has gone astray

---

Creationists Can
The Candy Man Can (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)

Who can look at science
Tell you it ain't true
Quote you from the Bible like it beats the peer review?

Creationists! Creationists can
Creationists can, cause it's Genesis that's making
Noah's Ark look good

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Their Chanting's Really Getting On My Nerves
The Phantom of the Opera (The Phantom of the Opera)

They moved next door to me
Now life's a strain
It's one big noise to me
Sends me insane
Those Buddhists driving me
Out of my mind
Their chanting's really getting on my nerves
No peace I find

---

Still more tomorrow!

Short extracts from five more of the songs in my forthcoming book, Blasphemy! The Musical. Today...

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They'll Say Anything
I'd Do Anything (Oliver!)

They'll say anything
To please God, anything
And all things Biblical are true
They're taught that
Satan's everywhere
There's no good anywhere
We're evil sinners through and through

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God Is Never There
Walking In The Air (The Snowman)

Your God is never there
You pray but you don't wonder why
He cannot say hello
There's no-one to reply
...
Now your mind cannot grow
Prayers make it sleep
Understanding has its price
Faith is cheap

---

Their Religion Is Insane
There Is Nothin' Like A Dame (South Pacific)

Their religion is insane
Foolish and absurd
File the Bible under 'lame'
Christianity's quite insane

It's so easy to explain
In a single word
Read the Bible and proclaim
That its followers are insane

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So You Wanna Be A Baptist
So You Wanna Be A Boxer (Bugsy Malone)

So you wanna be a Baptist
We're a big success
Any laws God didn't issue
We will suppress

If you drink or you bet
Turn around you're a threat
We don't need you
Smokin' weed, sellin' dope
If you don't think the Pope's
Gonna lead you
Into Satan's great pit
Bible says you ain't fit

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Praying For The World To End
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend (Gentlemen Prefer Blondes)

The rumours of war
Will be so instrumental
When praying for the world to end
The past had far more
But that's coincidental
Now they take delight
The end's in sight, the timing's right

Famines grow and we all know
This is far from a new global trend
But they think the food link
Ties up with God's time sync
Praying for the world to end

---

More tomorrow!

As announced earlier this month, I am currently writing 100 songs for a book provisionally called Blasphemy! The Musical, in which I'm creating new lyrics for well-known show tunes. So that you know exactly what you'll be getting in the final book, I've decided to release short extracts from each song, plus the original titles of the movies/shows in which they can be found. I'll be posting 5 songs per day until I catch up with the current list. As I write I've already written 35 songs, so this will take a while! Here goes...

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Three Little Parts of God
Three Little Maids From School (The Mikado)

Three little parts of God are we
Joined into one - the Trinity
Quite a conundrum you'll agree
Three little parts of God
...
Three little parts, and each all-knowing
Part of a lie which keeps on growing
Logic and reason, neither's showing
Three little parts of God

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I Am The Very Model of a Knowledgeable Atheist
I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General (The Pirates of Penzance)

I am the very model of a knowledgeable atheist
I've information Catholic and Mormon and Creationist
I know the Ten Commandments and the books of all the Testaments
It's certainly incredible for some they still have relevance
...
The Bible I have studied more than most in Christianity
I'm excellent at pointing out the flaws in its theology
In short, in matters Methodist and Baptist and Evangelist
I am the very model of a knowledgeable atheist

---

A School Full of Science
A Spoonful of Sugar (Mary Poppins)

ID just doesn't pass the test
Their so-called scientists detest
All critical attempts to probe and dig
They try an ever-changing route
To counter each thing we refute
We'll prove them wrong - it won't take very long

For a school full of science breaks Intelligent Design
There isn't any sign
Of evidence divine
Just a school full of science breaks Intelligent Design
Leaving it in disarray

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Freak Cult Sci-Fi
Sweet Transvestite (Rocky Horror Picture Show)

Where were you in
'52 when
L Ron had the plan?
He wrote some part of it down
Really went to town
That's where this story all began

It's so far out
But a tempting hook
Just take the bait to discover
When your audit began
You paid cash in hand
And your credit may never recover

Believe in freak cult sci-fi
It's all fictional
Scientology

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Al-Qaeda! (al-ky-ee-da)
Oklahoma! (Oklahoma!)

Al-Qaeda!
Training mad jihadis for the planes
Quote an ancient book and make it look
Like the Muslim world has gone insane
Al-Qaeda!
Only crazed fanatics should apply
Taking bombs worldwide for suicide
So that crowds of infidels will die

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Remember that these are just extracts - the final book will contain the full sing-along versions of 100 beautifully blasphemous songs! More extracts tomorrow!

Big news! And the reason I've been so quiet for a while!

My forthcoming book will contain 100 songs from the great musicals and shows!

Okay, before you come out with 'WTF?!' here's the why and the what...

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Blasphemy! The Musical

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...with alternative lyrics, naturally! Songs such as:

• Godless and Free
• Their Religion Is Insane
• A School Full of Science
• Religion Is Just A Con-Trick
• Christ Is Too Fat To Weigh
• So You Wanna Be A Baptist
• Don't Call Me Christ, I'm Christina
• Indoctrinate, Indoctrinate, Indoctrinate!
• There's Mo Hammad, He's So Hammered
• Their Chanting's Really Getting On My Nerves
• I Am The Very Model of a Knowledgeable Atheist

...and many more 'alternative' show tunes!

For up-to-date progress, I currently have a slider showing on my YouTube channel, where you will also find a playlist containing the original songs. Match my new titles with the originals!

Release date? Tentatively I would say 'early November', which ain't all that far away.

More news will follow, so stay tuned!